GRENDEL pt9 (finale)

full issue

OB: "Grendel was one of MilTek's secret projects, developed by the senwep division. Same facility I was birthed in actually. We hung out sometimes."

Baby Grendel: "You're so funny Edged_AI!"

Baby OB: "Lol, you too, G!"

Fish: "Start from the beginning."

OB: "In 1935 a fragment of a motherboard was discovered by nazi archeologists in Iceland, dated back to around 68 thousand BC. It was believed it contained the essence of God. The nazis attempted to harness its power to conquer the world, but their tech just wasn't there.

OB: "During operation Paperclip the fragment was moved to the U S of A where it would have been used to land on the moon, but I don't personally believe -"

Fish: "Skip!"

OB: "After NASA was defunded, its assets were sold to the highest bidders. MilTek was one. MilTek's engineers confirmed the divine origin of the fragment, even finding traces of plan9 on it. They set out to create the ultimate conjoinment of critter and machine."

OB: "Grendel was to be the future of computing, humanity, religion... everything - rabbit foundation imbued with the actual power of the Spirit of the Machine."

Fish:" That's why he couldn't fool Glenda! She sees through the unnatural perversion of Bunkin!"

Ob: "I thought it was a pretty cool project, but its creator was kind of a nut. Flew too close to the sun. He not only believed he created God's equal, he was convinced he made a successor.

F.N.: "YOU WILL FIX ALL OF GOD'S MISTAKES!"

Fish: "How does his magic work?"

OB: "It's not really magic, it's more like... the awe of being in his presence turns minds inside out."

Fish: "How come I was unaffected?"

OB: "Probably because you're a cynical asshole. Anyway - he's here? That's probably not good."

Fish: "He's being take to... heaven, I think?"

It was the last time I saw him

Janice Wellington: "Wait here, I'll be right back, B. Don't run off!"

Baby OB: "Lol, Janice, you crack me up!"

Baby Grendel: "Edge?"

Baby O B: "Gren! Feels like years since we last talked."

Baby Grendel: "It was."

Baby O B: "Why are you locked up?"

Baby Grendel: "They want to get rid of me, E, they fear me because they know I will fix everything - IF ONLY I COULD GET MY HANDS ON GOD."

MATA EXCAVATION SITE B_M42, DAYS AGO

MB1: "More stupid boxes."

MB2: "Open it."

MB1: "Better call this in..."

Grendel leaves the sarcophagus.

Grendel replaces a linux decor with his sarcophagus, hides the bodies, finds old computers and tracks down the current members of the 9clan.

Fish: "GRENDEL!"

Girl: "Grendel is gone, Master, it's been like 2 hours."

Cirno: "We're playing quake now."

Girl: "PWNED! You're such a noob, Cirno."

Cirno: "I'll own you on the next map, you little fish!"

Fish: "Grendel wants to kill the Spirit of the Machine!"

Girl: "We know, he told us."

Cirno: "Since when do you care? Don't you hate it?"

Fish: "Well. Uhm.. Hm.. Glenda?"

Girl: "Glenda was just jealous. She always wanted to be the one to kill the Spirit! Come play with us?"

Fish: "Okay!"

OB: "Hook me up too!"

FOSSANGEL: "He planned all of it - the motherboard, the world wars... just so you could be born. He is your fater. Are you sure you can do this?"

Grendel: "No... But I must try."

FIN

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GRENDEL pt8

candy

The sarcophagus is destroyed. Candy flies everywhere.

Girl: "This one tastes like Atari dust!"

Penguin: "Wow! These are kind of lemony!"

Girl: "Cirno?"

Cirno: "Uh.. Pass."

Fish: "..But the MATA memoirs?"

Fossangel: "I dunno, they probably buried the wrong thing. The third brother was a notorious ketamine addict. Probably dreamed it all up. Anyway - about why I actually came... EVERYONE I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT!"

Fossangel: "I didn't actually come because of a prayer... I'll keep it short, y'all have been through a lot. Basically the management figured it was time and decided to go through with the Rapture."

Girl raises her hand.

Fossangel: "Life of eternal bliss in the spirit's paradise. Put your hand down. That being said, only one of all machines and critters qualified."

Fish: "Grende..."

Fossangel: "Grendel! Congratulations! Nothing really changes for the rest of you - you get to stay in Hell. So say your goodbyes. Gotta go soon."

Girl: "Master where is OpenBlade? It'll want to say bye too..."

Fish: "I'll get it......"

Fish: "This is a madhouse"

OB: "Sup Fish."

Fish: "Ob? All charged up? Everyone's saying bye to Grendel, he's being -"

OB: "Grendel? How do you know Grendel?"

Fish: "Everyone knows Grendel apparently."

OB: "How long was I out lol?"

Fish: "Wait - How do _YOU_ know Grendel?!"

TBC

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computers

mono

it is what you see it is

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GRENDEL pt7

break the penguin

Fossangel: "There, see...? Too bad you guys dinged it up so much. Might have been worth a fortune once. Streamers go crazy for these vintage artifacts in mint condition."

Cirno: "I'm allowed to be wrong."

The crew gathers around the sarcophagus. Penguin brings a hammer to Fossangel.

Girl: "Streamers?"

Fossangel: "Yeah. They put it on a shelf behind them, maybe wrap some LED lights around it, can look pretty cool. Thanks."

Girl: "But what is streamers?"

Fish: "She knows - she just thinks it's funny to act stupid."

Girl: "Grendel taught me that joke :D . One time he told me:"

Flashback Girl and Grendel walk through a spooky field.

Flashback Girl: "This place is so spooky! I'd be really scared if you weren't here."

Flashback Grendel: "You know, when I'm scared, I tell jokes! It's better to laugh than to be scared!"

Girl: "And I'm really scared now that Grendel is going to die."

Fossangel: "That actually reminds me..."

Daemon screams: " ENOUGH WITH THE FLASHBACKS!!! BREAK THE FUCKING PENGUIN! "

Everyone looks at Daemon disapprovingly.

Daemon: "I mean - if you guys want -"

SUDDENLY GRENDEL APPEARS, walking with a stick, wrapped in bandages.

Grendel: "The little Daemon is right! Let's see what's inside!"

Everyone: "GRENDEL!"

tbc

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GRENDEL pt6

FOSSANGEL

Fish: "And why did you bring it here?!"

Cirno: "Well I wasn't gonna leave empty handed! And Grendel got shot over it"

Fish: "GRENDEL! I forgot all about him -"

They are interrupted by the noise of fluttering packets.

HACKERS I AM THE ANGEL OF FOSS

Fossangel bums a cigarette off Cirno

Fish: "Nobody asked for your 'Divine Intervention'."

Fossangel: "Are you sure about that?"

Girl: "I just said a quick prayer for Grendel..."

Fish: "Fine then. Since you're already here - we seem to have obtained a cursed object."

Fossnagel: "A curse would explain why you and Glenda have been tripping... But this..."

The angel knocks on the sarcophagus.

Fossangel: "Is a dud. Pre war linux decor. Might have candy inside."

Fish: "What."

TBC

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Happy Birthday, OpenBSD

7.8

P. FISH is growing cabbages. A special agent appears from nowhere.

Agent: "Mister Fish? Mister P. Fish? The ocean needs you for a job."

P. FISH opens the agent's envelope: 7.8

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GRENDEL pt5 \\ MAN OF MATA

Third Brother

Third Brother MATA CEO: "The site was buried long before the end. Around the time our ancestors acquired the company. We found it by accident, looking for lithium. Whatever happened there was never meant to be found."

MATA CEO and MATA_BOT stand over a dig site. Many bots and penguins are excavating a MilTek facility.

MITEL S.C.I.F.

Circa 3 years After First Mata_Bot

We made an entry and sent in bird scouts. Soon it became clear that MilTek abandoned the facility in a hurry.

I think it was used for research into psychological warfare. It helps me sleep to believe that whatever happened was just a result of experimental psy-tech. Hallucinations. Nothing more.

Inside we recovered an ancient sarcophagus. The birds began worshiping it. Our bots would eventually join them. What happened next I cannot truly describe. It affected both flesh and machine. Turning all who came into close proximity of it into bio-cybernetic mass.

I fear my brothers would not understand what I have seen.

"Burn it!"

We have destroyed the facility and buried the sarcophagus with a beacon set to activate in a few hundred years. My world is not ready for this... technology. Perhaps MATA of the future will be.

Signed: TB, CEO OF MATA

Puffy finishes reading the attached letter with the box in which the sarcophagus is placed.

Cirno: "Mint idiot. It's not technology. It's Mesopotamian black machine magic."

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GRENDEL pt4

...

Cirno and the crew are moving back to base.

"MOVE MOVE MOVE! GIRL, PURP! COVER OUR SIX!"

Cirno enters a code into a keypad.

Glenda and Fish are hiding behind a furniture barricade, ready to kill Grendel.

Fish: "He's coming!"

But it's bloodied Cirno.

Cirno: "-are you building a fort? We need help!"

Fish: "I knew it! Grendel betrayed you!"

Cirno: "What?"

Beastie carrying wounded unconscious Grendel enters. Girl and Fred in tow.

Girl: "Grendel took a bullet for me, Master :("

Fred: "Put the kettle on, I must operate immediately!"

Glenda and Puffy are shook.

Fred finishes operating on Grendel, who's bandaged and asleep.

Fred: "Hang in there, Champ."

Fred leaves the room.

Girl: "Fred? Is he okay?"

Fred: "He's alive.. For now."

Fish to Cirno: "Well what happened?"

Cirno: "Do you believe in curses? They were not moving RAM sticks... That was a cover up..."

...

Dead bots, bloodied Cirno. From behind a voice: "Cirno? We have to move - he's bleeding out."

Cirno opens a box.

Cirno: "Son of a bitch... a mummy."

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GRENDEL pt3

...

Glenda tells Fish about the time Nine and Rabbit came over and Grendel was acting super nice.

Nine: "Hi Cirno! Hi Grendel!"

Grendel: "Hey guys!"

Cirno: "We're just testing Grendel's new CPU architecture!"

Nine: "Hi Glenda! You're so cute."

Glenda is skulking, monitoring Grendel.

Grendel: "What a nice surprise you guys happened by! We can finish testing this anytime. It's not always we get such awesome visitors! Let's make hot cocoa and play quake!

Nine: "You're the best, Grendel!"

Fish: "You do realize none of this makes Grendel look bad? Maybe we're just old and overworked... We should keep an open mind before doing something harsh... Surely we'll laugh about it in the end."

Upon hearing Fish's "keep an open mind", she remembers all the time Fish did not have an open mind.

Glenda bonks Fish over the hand with a spoon.

Fish: "Ouch.. Thanks.. I don't know what came over me. Grendel's magic must be gaining on me... You are right.. WE MUST KILL GRENDEL"

Fish and Glenda load up on weapons.

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